Thursday, January 6, 2011

UFO: Loch Ness Monster Sighted in Colorado

I was trying to write an article about the Loch Ness Monster when Xrytspet© from Fanton in G10009845788899990766 stuck her nose into my business again.

Xrytspet: Your writing about something you know nothing about.

Hack Writer: I always start out that way, or nearly always. This one started in my dentist office while I was reading National Geographic. Go away!

Xrytspet: I'm taking a spin in the FnL7 Time Craft. I thought you would like to come along.

Hack: Go away, Xrytspet!

Xrytspet; I'm going back 75 million years. I want to take a look at the Western Interior Seaway.

Hack: The what?

Xrytspet: I'm leaving. If you want to go, you had better lift your butt off that chair.

That's when Xrytspet levitated me and the next thing I knew I was in the FnL7 Time Craft speeding back in time. As we flew, Xrytspet talked.

Xrytspet: You are incredibly ignorant of the history of your planet, Taylor Jones, the hack writer. It seems I'm always explaining things to you.

Hack: You were there. I wasn't.

Xrytspet: I'll tell you a secret. That building next to the Police Station is what's called a library. They have books in there and you don't need money to get them. They loan them out.

Hack: You're such a smart butt, Xrytspet.

Xrytspet: "The Western Interior Seaway is an ancient intracontinental seaway that occupied much of modern western North America and existed throughout much of the Cretaceous Period."

Hack: Which statement you quoted word for word from one of those books.

Xrytspet: Not exactly. I copied it from http://serc.carleton.edu/resources/1857.html.

Hack: I though so. Look! We're there! Good heavens what is that thing?

Xrytspet: That is the Thalassmedon, your Loch Ness monster. (See http://www.oceansofkansas.com/longneck.html and http://www.oceansofkansas.com/denver.html.)

Hack: That creature has a neck 20 feet long. It's a type of plesiosaur, isn't it? Each of its four flippers is as big as a man. Let this thing hover higher. It's snapping at us.

Xrytspet: We're not fish and it's slow because it keeps big stones in its belly.

Hack: It's doesn't seem to care. Throw it an apsopelix.

An apsopelix is a bony fish, or was. See http://www.keystonegallery.com/fossils/bony_fish.html.

Xrytspet: We've got to get out of here!

Hack: But we just got here and I want to see everything.

Xrytspet: Look on the projectile screen.

Hack: HOLY, COW! That's one humongous meteor.

Xrytspet: Say bye, bye to the Thalassmedon.




John T. Jones, Ph.D. (tjbooks@hotmail.com), a retired college professor and business executive, Former editor of an international engineering magazine. To learn more about Wealthy Affiliate University go to his info site. If you desire a flagpole to Fly Old Glory, go to the business site.

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