A 'weighty' book by Dr. J. H. Kellogg MD, titled 'Ladies Guide in Health and Disease' includes all the information the young lady seeking love and marriage, needs to know. (Well, it all made good sense in 1893, when it was written). And yes - it is the very same Kellogg who invented and produced whole grain breakfast cereals that would evolve into the famous and much-loved Kellogg's Cornflakes. Additionally, he also patented a process for making peanut butter and invented healthful, Granose biscuits (maybe a precursor of 'Granita biscuits'?)
First and foremost - be Clear in Purpose - and Pure in Mind.
Young ladies must understand that preservation of the species is the only object for the institution of marriage. And most certainly not to simply gratify the 'animal' passions. A young woman with genuine instincts would be attracted to marriage for far superior and more modest motives than just sexual privileges.
Dr. Kellogg tells of countless women who suffered serious distress and illness caused by the excesses of the early weeks of marriage! He further recommends that these violent passions should be kept under control, insisting that - 'unbridled lust is a sin under all circumstances', and that Nature's 'animal instincts' were never intended to become dominant over the dignified purpose that marriage was exclusively designed for - namely procreation and continuation of the species.
Is Age for Marriage Important?
Dr. Kellogg's studies proved his absolute conclusion that 20-22 years old for a female, and 24-26 for a male were the ages most conducive to success. Deviation from these recommendations would most definitely prove disastrous, as the progeny of 'girl-mothers' will inevitably be 'childish in intellect, destined to a short and inefficient life'. Immature mothers constantly produce defective children, and to prove his point, he poses the question of how many great statesmen, philosophers or authors have been born of 'girl-mothers'. In justification, Dr. Kellogg points to stock-raisers who never allow immature animals to breed!
Should a young wife take an old husband? Most definitely not, as she faces dire consequences with her offspring (IF indeed there are any), as the 'old, unhappy faces' are tragic to witness. The Doctor believed early death to be inevitable.... and the best possible outcome for the parents and the world in general.
Even in the 1890's, Dr. Kellogg notes that society is shocked too often by such unions wherein the only charm of the octogenarian is his large fortune. (Some things never change, it would seem).
Desirable Attributes?
Once again, Dr. Kellogg has a wealth of worthy advice. Good health and constitution are of prime importance, because the wife, who will inevitably become enfeebled by the duties of maternity, will need to rely heavily on the strength of her spouse. Should she ignore this advice, it will not simply be at her own peril - her children's lives would undoubtedly be threatened with disease. And still, it's not over, for when the sickly husband dies (as he will), and the good woman remarries (even a healthy man!), the subsequent offspring are likely to still be affected by the 'feebleness of the former husband'.
And what of Health, Genetics and Physical Attributes?
The young lady should ascertain that her intended and/or his family have never suffered any of the following:- any contagious disease (and Dr. Kellogg dares to mention - at length - that this includes venereal variety), consumption, insanity, epilepsy, congenital defects of any kind, dyspepsia, rheumatism, scrofula, and in fact, any deviation from standard health.
He warns, as strongly as he knows how, to never take the young man's assurance alone. The prospective 'bride' should double-check every avowal he makes - with his parents, his relatives, his friends, and not the least, his family doctor.
And in case she should think size doesn't matter, here is yet another vastly underrated aspect of husband selection - proportionate size of the couple. Large men and small women should steadfastly avoid each other, as such unions are 'physically improper'...likely to produce much 'suffering, and increase the dangers of childbirth many fold.'
And Habits?
Important? Unequivocally 'Yes'. He should be 'steady, industrious and thrifty'', able to economize and avoid extravagance. He should NOT 'partake of the weed' (smoke) or use liquor, narcotics or other stimulants. In fact, women are advised to 'rise up en masse against the tyranny of these barbarous and debasing habits'.
(Dr. Kellogg does not publicly acknowledge female smokers in this book, most probably because smokers of the 'fair sex' had long been associated with loose morals, dubious sexual behavior and fallen women...or prostitutes. And surely none of us could be in doubt at this stage of the good Doctor's feelings on this subject!)
The road ahead holds nought but danger and heartbreak for the young woman who marries a man who has been 'just a little fast' - as 'habits of dissipation, when once thoroughly fastened upon, are not easily shaken off.'
Dr. Kellogg firmly advocates against a young woman adopting a 'missionary spirit' in the mistaken belief she can reform a 'rake'. He sternly lectures that such reformation is an impossibility, observing that time and opportunity will inevitably convert evil thoughts into evil acts, to the never-ending anguish of all involved.
His predicted outcome of this situation is nothing less than a fall from the path of virtue, followed by desertion, ruination, becoming an outcast from society and undoubtedly enduring eternal ruin in the afterlife.
Recommended Temperament?
On this subject, the advice of Dr. Kellogg is crystal clear. It is exceedingly important to avoid the conceited, proud, jealous and suspicious -- and also phrenologists, who have 'attempted to regulate matrimonial unions according to their opinions of the bumps on the respective heads.' One wonders if different conclusions would be reached according to whether the bumps had been inherited or inflicted!...and could a 'phrenologist' tell the difference, anyway?
Many readers may be unaware that 'phrenology' was the belief that intelligence and personality traits could be 'read' by the shape of the skull and the size and shape of protuberances (or bumps) in various areas of the skull...and of course, a 'phrenologist' was the 'learned'(?) practitioner.
Should Parental approval be Sought?
Oh yes, this is crucial, and he firmly admonishes Mothers to exercise careful supervision, win confidence and respect, and become their daughter's closest confidant during this vulnerable phase of her life. Who else on Earth could understand like a Mother?
Of course, this will only ensue if the Mother has followed the correct course from early childhood of her offspring - and developed the ability to exert enough strength of influence to mold her child's very actions. In other words, a young woman should never even vaguely contemplate committing her precious self to any young man without 'first consulting her mother.'
If she should marry against her parents' wishes, her life will be an enduring misery, in consequence of that 'one false step.'
Has your intended passed the criteria?
If the answer is a resounding YES, then Dr. Kellogg continues, with advice about the courtship.
'Favourable opportunities for lapses from virtue' must be avoided at all costs, and the good doctor draws our attention to the fact that it is not a good idea to develop the habit of sitting up late at night, and in fact, this practice 'should be condemned and discountenanced', as he firmly believed characters should be judged by daylight, not lamplight!!
There is little I can add to the good Doctor's worthy and wordy advice, except - isn't it comforting to be facing all this in the present - and NOT in the 1890's?
HAPPY HUSBAND-HUNTING, LADIES!
Copyright 2010 Christine Larsen All Rights Reserved
Selecting a Husband - 1890's style
Who is Christine Larsen, alias cdcraftee?
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