It may be easier to stop your loneliness, anxiety and depression than you think. In fact, your Dog can show you the way, if you pay close attention to his cues. By using an old behavior change technique called "acting as if," you can literally transform your emotional life, unless you have a serious clinical condition. Just act like your Dog in six critical areas and you'll be feeling better in no time! Here's how...
Take these six tips from your Dog and consciously seek to apply them to your day-to-day life. You'll be surprised what a difference it can make.
Fido's Tips
1. Don't hold grudges
Holding a grudge is like keeping a vat of poison around. It fills our minds with negative thoughts and makes us feel badly. Grudges often grow into more serious problems, too. To stop loneliness, get rid of any and all grudges, and make it easier to keep people close to you.
Take a tip from Fido: drop any grudge you may have, and stop expecting perfection in your relationships. Be like Fido... forgive and forget... and enjoy!
And move on with your life. Most Dogs are very quick to forget and move on.
When we are lonely and depressed, or worried about our lives, we usually do the opposite of Fido. And that reinforces the negative cycle of suffering. If we hold a grudge, we hold our pain very close to the bone, and we slip deeper into the angry furrows of depression. Instead of acting like a loving, caring person, we behave as if wounded, inviting more problems.
2. Live fully in the moment
So often people get stuck in the past and can't pay attention to the present, or let go and enjoy it. Ditto for the future. Having your feet firmly planted in either place will only leave you feeling dismayed and unfilled. You can't live in the past or the future. So do as Fido does... live in the precious present and get all the gusto you can in this very moment. Don't let your life pass you by as you get stuck in yesterday or tomorrow. Did you know...
The inability to get over the past often results in depression.
Sure, you can deal with the past, to the extent necessary, and plan for the future, but you've got to have your heart and mind fully engaged in the NOW. Live today.
To stop loneliness we must avoid being mired in past problems or successes, and open ourselves fully to the moment.
3. Relish the simple joys and pleasures
Fido doesn't like to complicate things. He lets us humans do that. He likes to keep it simple and knows the simple joys are the best. But people often forget that, and we miss out on some of life's greatest pleasures. Remember to keep it simple! I adhere to that old acronym, KISS: keep it simple, stupid. It is a good guide to follow.
Thousands of people drive by the arboretum at the University of Kentucky, and never stop to smell the wonderful array of roses they have planted there. It only takes a few minutes to stop and look at the flowers and breathe in some heavenly scented fresh air. Even if you go to a lovely natural area alone, like the UK arboretum, you will stop loneliness in its tracks and allow the natural surroundings to help you feel better. A couple can stroll around, hold hands and become closer without any effort... and it's free.
You know, when it comes right down to it, simple is better than complicated and less is more.
4. Explore and discover the world around you
Dogs like to get up and go. Take them for a walk, and they get busy exploring with their eyes, ears and noses. And they have a grand old oprey time doing it. Just a walk around the block can be an adventure for them. And what good they get out of it. So, try to be more like Fido and find the hidden opportunities for adventure and discovery in your life. Discover your neighborhood in a new way, and take delight in your surroundings. Go down a new street, and find out what's there, what you've been missing.
I'll let you in on a secret tip: it is difficult to stay depressed when you are involved in the act of exploration and discovery. To stop loneliness from cutting off your air supply, get up and go!
And make it a habit to learn more about the people you love. There's always more to know. In all your relationships take time to listen and explore, to discover others in a new light. Happiness will follow. Fido knows how to stop loneliness and curb depression... he acts. He does something. He enjoys life.
5. Trust your gut
Sometimes we will trust the impressions of others, but not our own. Or we'll trust our logic, but not our hunches. What a shame! Dogs know better. Like many animals, they are in touch with their instincts, and live by their gut. Certain breeds have incredible psychic ability. We do, too, but we don't always use it. By turning your problem over to the inner mind, you will get the help you need to stop loneliness and cure anxiety.
The more you use and rely on your intuition, the more reliable it gets.
6. Play!
Wow! This is a simple but powerful tip. Do dogs know how to play? Do they ever! They know play is the key to the kingdom.
Some people I work with remember to take time for play and some don't. A few special individuals are creative about playing, and go about tasks in a playful way, generating positive feelings all around. Cutting up can be a good thing, as opposed to sitting around and being serious all the time.
Most couples I have worked with need to play more often. I often prescribe structured play to couples I'm counseling or coaching, and play benefits their relationships in countless ways. When under stress or strain, our need for play goes way up. Play brings relief and excitement in times of need, keeps us youthful and ignites a little humor in tense situations. Plays allows us to be spontaneous and creative, and contributes to achievement.
And most of the time, when we play we are not only having a good time, but we are learning and growing, as well.
My dog, Brody, plays like a mad dog. He slept on a rug by the hearth last night, and this morning I counted six toys around the rug. He had gathered them, one by one, for a rip-roaring good time. Even if his human friends won't play with him, due to whatever excuse, he will get some toys and entertain himself. After all, Brody knows how to be happy.
Putting It All Together
Happy people tend to turn these six tips into skills. They laugh and play their way to success, trust themselves, take delight in constantly discovering the inner and outer world, relish the simple things, live in the present and overlook or forget the mistakes of others, refusing to dwell on the perceived unfairness of a grudge.
When we are lonely and depressed, or worried about our lives, we usually do the opposite of Fido. And that reinforces the negative cycle of unhappiness. If we hold a grudge, we hold our pain very close to the bone, and we slip deeper into the angry furrows of depression. Instead of acting like a loving, caring person, we behave as if wounded, inviting more problems.
By taking Fido's tips, you'll soon be following a psychologically healthy path to leading a happy life. You will stop loneliness, overcome anxiety and depression, and you'll invite more happiness into your life. These are great principles to live by, and while our canine friends may not have developed them, they have mastered the art form... which is why dogs are sometimes more fun to be around than people!
Richard Hamon is a dynamic coach and therapist with 30 years of professional experience. Richard helps people to solve their relationship problems, enjoy truly extraordinary marriages and find exceptional success in all areas of their lives.
You'll find all kinds of articles on how to spice up your relationships and lead a happier life at Richard's website, Happy-Relationships.com. Find out about personal coaching programs to assist you in quickly reaching your loftiest goals. Discover eBooks, relaxation CDs and other informative products, such as a free relationship quiz to help you assess your relationship.
For more information on conducting state-of-the-art relationships, the latest research on true happiness, and Richard's products and services, please go to:
http://happy-relationships.com
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